theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
