plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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