My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize