how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
