The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
