So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
false alarm, still single
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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