he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
