if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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