think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
