dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
