Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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