She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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