You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
id be glad to
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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