Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
