Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize