I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
