i permit you to call me
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
there is puke in my bra ... again
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