Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
