you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
