She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
