Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
