Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
