Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
