So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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