Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
