He kissed a someone with a penis
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize