dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
