what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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