His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize