My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
