This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
