I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
