Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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