Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
