from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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