..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
