I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
