I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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