it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
