smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I had to cum in my sink.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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