Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I have peed in a lot of sinks
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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