i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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