I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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