you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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