He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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