I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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