is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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