She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She swung at the pinata with crutches
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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