Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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