I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Randomize
