Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
