Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
