Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
