Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize