I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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