How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I will be naked everywhere
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
