gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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