i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
