I want to stick my p in your. b.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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