she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
