this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
